Some thoughts on being a grown-up

There’s a snake in my breakfast cereal,

And as I make-up my face up

And wash down from being sexed up

I see that the snake is really just milk

And that I’m projecting again

And the confusion continues

As I reach into the closet

To retrieve my long lost pant-suit

That has a crotch

And I’m wondering if it is appropriate to wear to work.

The ageless mirror bleats back at me

Go back to sleep, put those thoughts to rest

Because you’ll never be anything but

The absolute worst at being the best

And you’ll just come home and drink it all away anyways

So as I shut the door again

And try to remember why I came in

Here in the first place

I look at the wrinkles on my face and ask the mirror

Tell me, where did that little girl go?

As if in reply, my leg begin to sweat

And shake and shiver

As my uterus fights with my liver

Over who gets first go

And I remember where she went

A while later I stare a ceiling

Legs spread wide, plastered on smile

Whispering dirty somethings into a strangers ear

And I connect the dots and it looks like a face

Smiling back at me on my back.

Look how far you’ve come, it says

Look how far you’ve come. 

Uninspired

I am uninspired. This is not a reflection of my workplace, my education, my family or my friends. No, this is a reflection of my horrible messed up mind that like to complicate things that are not complicated.

I have dedicated the last 6 years of my life to bettering myself in an attempt to better the world in which I live. However, I am beginning to doubt the efficacy of such a project. Do I need to be a better person in order to make a difference. I am reminded of people like Oprah, Steve Jobs, the many millionaire/billionaire software execs, who are a far cry from perfect, a far cry from good, but who have managed to make enormous positive impacts on the world, primarily through dispersing philanthropically the money which they gained through capital investment and television talk shows. I wonder if it matters who you are as long as you are helping others.

For a long time I believed that these people were what's wrong with the world. People like Peter Thiel, who get rich off social media, and Angelina Jolie, who make millions pretending to be someone they're not on camera and off. For a long time I though, it doesn't matter how much good they do, they are famous for nothing, they give away the money - so what?! It is money they didn't deserve in the first place. But perhaps with age and education comes a certain kind of cynicism. I have become jaded to the point where I do not think about just deserts and recognition for good done and good for the sake of good. I am beginning to question whether these things are relevant

Perhaps they once were, but in our age of capitalism and technological advancement for its own sake these things have lost their meaning. Good is now what one does, not their intention in doing it. If a billionaire invests in small businesses in order to make money which can not be taxed, that's good. He is investing in small businesses. It doesn't really matter that his motivations were selfish. If a celebrity donates blood, money, clothing or adopts a pet, a child, a village, it doesn't matter whether they did it to get that movie deal, or the cover of People, they did good.

Good has been taken out of goodness so that all that matter is action rather than intent. I wonder, then, what place is there in this world for those who do not want recognition for their actions, who hate the newspaper clippings with images of their face plastered next to a self-righteous article about the merits of philanthropic behavior?

So I guess bettering myself doesn't really need to play a role in the betterment of the world. I don't have to be a good person to do good things, so why be a good person at all? Why improve ourselves when in the end all that will be remembered is how many African babies we adopted, how much money we donated and how many lives we've saved. If theses things are the measurements of good in our world, then how will each individual's tiny contribution have any impact?

Don't worry. I don't believe everything I just wrote. I do still believe in doing something without recognition of action and I do believe in goodness. I just needed to rant for a while.

the end and happy thursday!

ranty rant rant rant...

Here is my letter to the editor (to give you some context for this post)

I recently attended a rally for democracy in Downtown North Bay organized in response to the robo-call scandal. Coming away from the event I was a little saddened that it did not go as I had hoped. I must admit that I am somewhat of an idealist - I like to think that we can change the world, that actions speak, that protests have an impact. The feeling that I got, however, leaving the Rally for Democracy was more disappointment, malcontent, and a little bit of confusion.

I wrote this letter to the editor, idealist that I am, explaining that to me Democracy means more than simply casting a ballot in a cardboard box once every four years (although lately it has been happening far more often than every four years). To me Democracy means standing up for your beliefs and having your voice heard. It means holding our representatives accountable.

The reason I was confused is that I felt as though the event was not about Democracy at all. It was about the robo-calls. Yes, yes... I know... the robo-calls "undermine our democracy". I do agree, but I don't think that they are all that outrageous. I think that we need to be angry about this, but there are so many other things that we as Canadians should care about and should be fighting for.

For example, there is a group in North Bay run by a lovely woman who runs North Watch. It is a peace initiative. Essentially they host peaceful protests and rallies, and petition for peaceful environmental, economic and military practices by the Canadian government. I went to their event for Hiroshima last year and was horrified to see that there were only about 7 of us there. There were NO young people, NO families and NO students. To me this is unacceptable. There is an Department of Peace Initiative in Canada that is working towards creating a Canadian Department of Peace and a Civilian Peace Service in Canada. They have 12 chapters across Canada and are run by some wonderful, affluent and intelligent academics and activists in Canada. Did you know that despite our proposed "peace-keeping" international status, Canada actually only employs 2 people in peace-keeping related roles?

The point is, why do we not get outraged about this? Why are we not piling out into the streets to protest the use of our taxes to pay for overseas armed interventions?

So the problem for me right now is that we think that democracy means handing over responsibility for the direction of our country into the hands of elected officials and their party leaders and then waiting another four years to do it again. This is why people don't vote! People don't think that voting makes a difference because guess what! It doesn't!

One final thought, to all you people (yes I said you people) who are always going on about how Canadians "paid the ultimate price" for the right to vote or "fought for our democracy", I guess I must have been absence from Canadian Political History class that day! Sorry to be so blunt, but are you serious?

Read you history books (however revisionist they are, they are pretty clear on this); Canadians NEVER fought for the right to vote. We didn't have to die for the right to cast a ballot. WWI and WWII were not about democracy, especially not our democracy. If the Nazis had won we would not all be fascists. Also, the Cold War between the US and the Soviets was also not about our right to vote--it was about forcing the democratic ideology onto a overbearing and unjust regime (also, that doesn't mean that Socialism has been licked - Socialism has never been proved wrong, the Soviets were).

When we cast off our colonial leaders we did a really shitty job - we are still a constitutional democracy and have not severed ties with ye ol' England. Nor did we fight the Americans for our democracy! We weren't even Canadians in 1812, you plebs! AND...Americans were fighting for their right to self governance and Canada didn't really become a country until 1867 and even then, we didn't have control over our armed forces, we were just an extension of the British empire! We didn't get control of our armed forces until the 1940s (thats right! after the World Wars)

My free advice of the day: read a book.

Kony 2012

So, it has taken me a little longer than most to decide how I feel about "Kony 2012". It is impossible to deny that the video posted by Invisible Children generated a great deal of emotions.

Immediately after watching the video I was brimming over with excitement at the prospect of making a real and lasting difference in an ongoing conflict that put the live of tens of thousands of children at risk. The thing with children is, they seldom have a choice. This is not unique to the LRA. A book written by Senator Dallaire (They Fight Like Soldiers, they Die Like Children) systematically outlines the continued use of children in armed conflict all over the globe. He delves into the child soldier phenomena and goes to great lengths to also expose the role of young girls in armed conflict.

I started an event page and with a friend decided to “Blanket the Night”. It was an emotional, knee-jerk reaction. Upon further consideration I have realized that the goals of the campaign are deeply flawed. Before you jump on me, please let me explain.

I am incredibly supportive of making people aware of what is going on internationally. It is the greatest travesty to me that in our post-modern world of immense technological capability, with so much media at our fingertips, the primary focus of the average 15-25 year old is far more pop-culture than political savvy. This is not a condemnation – I am the first to admit that I have falling down the celebrity-obsession rabbit hole on a number of occasions. Therefore, the popularity of the “Kony 2012” movement to me is a great triumph for social media and a political instigator – comparable at least initially to the Occupy movement and (to a lesser extent) the Arab Springs. I am filled with pride to see so many people getting passionate about an important human rights issue.

The problem is, of course, that the Kony 2012 movement aims to influence policy which would ensure ongoing American military intervention into Uganda. This is on the face of it impractical at best. First, the US troops are not there in a combat role. They are there as military advisors, which means, essentially, that they sit on their butts and talk a bunch. The assumption that American Military advisors will be of any help in tracking down the LRA is outrageous. That is like asking a blind mouse to tell the blind rat where the cheese is. The blind leading the blind… Second, the possibility of any engagement in combat on the part of the American government or any other would put the lives of the tens of thousands of abducted children that now make up Kony’s LRA at even greater risk.

So what do we do? Do we just sit back and let terrible things happen to innocent children? Do we go in and pretend to be “saviours”, living out our ill-conceived notions of the “white man’s burden”? Do we hang up a bunch of posters (which by the way is incredibly environmentally irresponsible as well as politically ineffective unless you live right smack-dab in the middle of Washington)?

This is what we do: we keep doing what we are doing. We plan rallies; we hang posters; we buy stickers and t-shirts; we host movie screenings; we light a candle. We may not support the policy that this initiative hopes to influence, but we do support the cause of global justice and equal human rights for all.

Maybe the impact will be small to non-existent. Maybe the results of the policies we are supporting will do more harm than good. And maybe we are being ridiculous, romantic, paternalistic, and emotional, the list goes on; but we can not deny that this is something unique. This is something interesting and new. We are, as demonstrated by the great political gatherings, protests and revolutions of the past year, entering into a new age of global social media. Events such as Kony 2012 may just be the boot in the butt we need to realize what has been true but ignored for the past fifty years or so: that strict nationalism is a thing of the past, that the nation state is no longer the primary actor in international politics, that individuals all over the world can rally together to impact change and that in spite of our many differences—the colour of our skin, the God/s that we do or do not worship, the language we speak, the food we eat—we are part of the same human family , 7 billion strong and counting, and we are responsible to every single member of this family, for better or for worse.

Being Vegan at Nip U (also, strike vegan from the list (and add Yoga!))

I've written a letter to Aramark food services and it goes like this:

Dear Aramark,

I am writing to you on behalf of myself and the rest of the student population with regard to your selection of vegetarian and vegan friendly foods in the Cafeteria at Nipissing University and Canadore College.

PETA has deemed Aramark one of the most vegetarian friendly catering and food-services companies in North America. This is wonderful. However, I fear that this has not translated into increased availability of vegetarian friendly options at Nipissing University/Canadore College in particular.

The cafeterias at Nipissing and Canadore do not offer sufficient vegetarian and vegan food and drink options. Even when foods are advertised as vegetarian the staff at the Nipissing/Canadore locations have on numerous occasions warned that the soups are made with meat based broths and the stir-fry options may contain traces of meat and meat broths etc. This is unacceptable. If it contains meat it is not vegetarian.

I would like to propose that you begin offering more vegetarian friendly options as well as vegan friendly options. This can and should include:

• vegetable based soups, stews and chilies

• soy/nut based milks made available for vegan (and lactose intolerant) visitors to the cafeterias

• a larger selection of meat, dairy, and egg free salads, sandwiches and wraps

As a vegan student with a high level of concern for our environment and my health I urge you to take my concerns stated herein seriously. I thank you in advance for taking the time to consider the suggestions I have made.

Sincerely,

Johanna

It doesn't sound as angry as I was when I was writing it...I guess that's a good sign.

That is all.